Learn Chinese in 5 minutes (read them out loud)

English                                                                            Chinese

That’s not right                                                               Sum Ting Wong

Are you harboring a fugitive?                                      Hu Yu Hai Ding

See me ASAP                                                                 Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man                                                                    Dum Fuk

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What YOU Can Do to Save Gas…

George Carlin’s grand solution to save gasoline:

Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas we use…

The best way to stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants! That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down…

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Be Prepared

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Don’t Swallow Your Gum

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Wheels of Life

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4 Calories a Minute

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Redneck Mansion

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25 ways to tell you’re grown up….

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Viagra Advertising

Viagra Advertising

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!) When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans.

The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable.

About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top 10 list. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone!

The top 10 were:

10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!

9. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper.

8. Viagra, like a rock!

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‘Gotta Pee…

Two women friends had gone for a girl’s night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, but they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.

Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.

She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.

After the girls did their business, they proceeded to go home.

The next day one of the women’s husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, ‘These girl nights out have got to stop! I’m starting to suspect the worst… My wife came home with no panties!!’

‘That’s nothing,’ said the other husband, ‘Mine came back with a card stuck to her behind that said…..

‘From all of us at the Fire Station. We’ll never forget you!’