Condom: Getting lucky…NOT!

A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, “Hello, could you give me condom? I’m going to my girlfriend’s for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance!”

The pharmacist gives him the condom and as the young man is going out. He returns and says, “Give me another condom because my girlfriend’s sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me, and I think I might strike it lucky there too.”

The pharmacist gives him a second condom, and as the boy is leaving, he turns back and says, “Go on, give me one more condom because my girlfriend’s mom is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes eyes, and since she invited me for dinner, I think she is expecting me to make a move!

During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left, the sister on his right, and the mom facing him. When the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head and starts praying, “Dear Lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all you give us.”

A minute later the boy is still praying. “Thank you Lord for your kindness.” Ten minutes go by and the boy is still praying, keeping his head down. The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend is even more surprised than the others. She gets close to the boy and says in his ear, “I didn’t know that you were so religious.”

The boy replies, “I didn’t know your dad was a pharmacist!”

Cop Reprimanded for Self-Tasering

(by Steven Elbow )

11/12/2007

 

You’d think the offense would be punishment enough.

A Madison police officer was issued a letter of reprimand this month for zapping the officer’s own hand with a Taser, inadvertently sending a massive jolt of electricity through the officer’s body, police disclosed today.

The incident happened on July 31 when the officer, whose name and gender were not disclosed, discharged the non-lethal weapon during a checkout procedure. According to a summary of the investigation issued by Lt. Kristen Roman of the Professional Standards and Internal Affairs office, officers are required to make sure that no air cartridge is loaded before testing the Taser gun, which is done at the start of each shift.

The air cartridge is what forces prongs out from the Taser. When the prongs strike a target, electricity surges through them along attached wires.

The officer’s hand was injured in the incident, police spokesman Joel DeSpain said today.

The Madison Police Department regularly releases reports when officers are reprimanded, but to protect the privacy and reputations of the officers involved, often leaves the officers unnamed.

According to the summary, which was dated Nov. 1, the failure to ensure that the air cartridge was not loaded was a violation of Madison Police Department policy regarding the check-out procedure and constituted a disregard for safety.