Cynicsism (some definitional thoughts)

CAPITAL PUNISHMENT The controversial right of the state to end a life by gassing, shooting, hanging, needling or quick-frying; believed effective as a deterrent to future crimes by the same individual. The common fate of incorrigible convicts and homeless pets.

STREET SMARTS The key to success in most human endeavors; something we neglected to learn in school because we were too busy studying French and trigonometry.

TABOO Any strict cultural prohibition that, when breached, causes everyone in the group to gasp; e.g., cannibalism, public nudity, serving fried pork rinds at a Hasidic wedding, or answering the question How are you? in the negative.

TALK SHOW An opportunity for people to confess to millions of viewers what they would be ashamed to admit to their next-door neighbors.

THERMODYNAMICS, SECOND LAW OF The natural tendency of all things to deteriorate and get messy over time: civilizations, relationships, ripe bananas, tidy apartments or human bodies.

TIME BOMB An explosive device set to detonate in the very near future, like an unmarried male subscriber to Nazi Life who has just been dismissed from his warehouse job at Mad Manny’s Appliances.


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