Governmentium

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element has been named Governmentium.  Governmentium (Gv) has one
neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy
neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be
detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause an action that would normally
take less than a second to take over four days to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years.  It does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.  In fact, Governmentium’s mass
will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more
morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.  When
catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium…an element that
radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many
peons but twice as many morons.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s