True Stories Told in One Sentence: Or imaginable

The fact that doctors are sometimes wrong took away my child.

I used to take my grandmother’s ring off my finger before I bent over the toilet after every meal out of fearing my grandmother could see me.

When I get scared at night, I look out at the fisherman’s boat and feel safe knowing I am not alone.

Now that I think about it… the basement fuse panel is a much shorter trip than the ER was.

The day my grandfather was diagnosed as HIV positive was the day my mother found out she was pregnant with me.

My 18th birthday present was dinner at Shoney’s and my father coming out of the closet.

I thought a boy was inviting me to a dance when he was really just calling to see if I could take his shift at work.

As I chased my dog down the street, I cursed the idiot who opened the gate to leave the yard and failed to latch it back.

You hurt my feelings when you said that tall girls are a turn-off.

I’ve had butterflies for a week, can’t stop smiling, and dread what will happen when he finds out I’m not Christian.

Every time I hang up something from home in my dorm room, I get more homesick.

Life’s too short to stop eating apples.

When I regained consciousness, I found myself sitting on a toilet, pants round my ankles, and angry men banging on the door.

“Is that your daughter?” she asked skeptically, referring to the baby drinking milk from my breast.

As I handed Mr. Paul his wife’s prescription-strength deodorant, I commented on the nice weather we were having, and he responded, “Once while I was in the Pacific, a cloud followed me around for a year, and all the boys would say, ‘Here comes ol’ McGinty.'”

My husband’s deployment turned out to be a good thing because I realized that I’m a lot happier without him, a lot stronger than I realized, and more importantly that I don’t deserve to be verbally abused.

When I stare into my eleven year old Basset Hound’s eyes, I could swear she was telling me that everything was going to be okay.

It’s hard for me to concentrate in my lectures because I get distracted by imagining what it’d be like to make out with random people in my class.

I lost my childhood the day I realized Happy Meals no longer filled me up.

I’ve been awake for three hours and I’ve already brushed my teeth four times.

Instinct told me to log onto his account, where I saw him telling her that he regrets being with me now that he’s met her.

My best friend looked out at the ocean, back at the shore and then at me, and asked “What happened to our clothes?”

His whole group was delayed at the Thailand airport for a day because he didn’t know what suitcase his mother packed his clothes in.

I considered myself a Christian until I had to take a religion class at a Jesuit university.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s