Textbook Disclaimer Stickers

Textbook Disclaimer Stickers

This textbook contains material on evolution. Evolution is a theory, not a fact, regarding the origin of living things. This material should be approached with an open mind, studied carefully, and critically considered.

This textbook asserts that gravity exists. Gravity is a theory, not a fact, regarding a force that cannot be directly seen. This material should be approached with an open mind, studied carefully, and critically considered.

This book discusses heliocentrism, the theory that the Earth orbits around a centrally located sun. Students should be encouraged to fully consider the evidence for, and the evidence against, this interesting idea.

This textbook suggests that the Earth is spherical. Because a few delusional wackos still think the Earth is flat, while others insist it is oblate spheroid, teachers are urged to skip over this controversial topic in lesson plans.

This textbook states that the Earth is over 4 billion years old. Because this fact conflicts rather directly with a hugely popular fictional account, both sides of the argument should be taught to impressionable children.

This book promotes the theory of plate tectonics, the gradual movement of the major land masses. Because nobody actually witnessed the land masses moving, teachers should refer to the theory as unprovable.

This textbook contains a chapter about general relativity, a theory that promotes relativism. The offending sections should be cut out of the book with a razor blade.

This textbook suggests that the origin of life was a wholly natural event. Because this view contradicts what fundamentalists want their children to believe, readers are encouraged to burn this book along with the author.

This book discusses God. The existence of entities with supernatural powers is controversial, and many believe that Gods, especially other people’s Gods, are fictional. This material should be approached with a sense of humor.

This textbook claims that evolution is not fully accepted by scientists because it is just a theory. The author hopes to confuse you into equating scientific theory with cockamamie theory.

This book does not contain the word “evolution,” the unifying principle in biology and an important component of the National Science Standards and the Scholastic Achievement Test.

This book mentions an Intelligent Designer. Please keep an open mind about whether this entity is God, an alien, or just a fictitious persona who was injected into the book to liven up the rather dry scientific prose.

This book contains an evolution disclaimer sticker mandated by your local school board. For fun, submit an article that analyzes the impact of weakened science instruction on the success of students’ college applications.

This book was anonymously donated to your school library to discreetly promote magical, religious alternatives to the theory of evolution. When you are finished with it, please reshelve the book in the fiction section.

This book teaches kids the difference between facts and myths. Because this erodes belief in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and, well, other things, parents should homeschool their kids until the age of 27.

This catalog features several dozen new mutants and cultivars of flowers and vegetables. Because this shows that species can change over time, Creationists should never, ever order anything from this company.

This pump dispenses gasoline, a fossil fuel. People who believe fossils are not real should put something else in their tanks.

This book discusses evolution. President George W. Bush said, “On the issue of evolution, the verdict is still out on how God created the Earth.” Therefore, until 2009 this material shood be aproched with an open mind, studeed carefuly, and critcly consid’rd.


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