Stupid Criminals (again)

Investigating a purse snatching, Brunswick, Georgia, detectives picked up a man who fit the thief’s description and drove him back to the scene. Hewas told to exit the car and face the victim for an I.D. The suspect dutifully eyed the victim, and blurted, “Yeah, that’s the woman I robbed.”

In Nashville, they tell of Fred “Bubba” Johnson, the burglar who fell asleep on the sofa of the home he was robbing, only to be awakened by police.

In Thibodaux, Louisiana, a robber with a thick Cajun accent couldn’t get restaurant patrons to understand his demand for money. Frustrated, he whipped out his gun, but it wouldn’t fire. Grabbing the cash register, he ran — but got only three feet before falling down. The register was still plugged into the wall… Unplugging it, he tried again, but a regular diner decked him and called police.

In Rhode Island, cops were sure they had the right guy when the suspect in a string of coin-machine thefts proceeded to pay his $400 bail…entirely in quarters.

Texas authorities, responding to a store robbery, seized a man who was fleeing naked. When asked about his choice of attire, he said he’d stripped after the job because he figured his clothes would make him identifiable. . .

Lawrence, Kansas – Officers tracked a midnight thief who prided himself on his running speed by following the red lights on his high-tech tennis shoes. . .

In Virginia, a janitor went to great lengths to avoid I.D. in a 7-Eleven robbery, using a ski mask and rental car for the occasion. But he also wore his work uniform, which said “Cedar Woods Apartments” and had his name, Dwayne, stitched across the front.

A would-be robber went into a convenience store wearing a ski mask. He told the clerk to open the cash register. The clerk couldn’t understand what he’d said, so asked him to repeat it again. The frustrated would-be robber took off his ski mask and asked the clerk again, “Open the cash resister, this is a holdup.” Needless to say, the security camera caught him on tape.

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