From the Office, at the Office

Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, “Like, I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?”

“Just use copier machine paper,” she told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.

A few weeks back my sister called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, “Bob is on vacation. Can you hold, please?”

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous.”

Following the rules will not get the job done.

Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work… If you are really good, you will get out of it.

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

Keep your boss’s boss off your boss’s back.

Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn’t.

The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.

When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, “How would the Lone Ranger handle this?”

When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

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