You Know You’re Trailer Trash if…

  • The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
  • You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
  • You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
  • You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.
  • Jack Daniel’s makes your list of “most admired people”.
  • You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
  • Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, “Hey watch this!”
  • You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
  • Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
  • Your junior prom had a daycare.
  • You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, “Gentlemen start your engines.”
  • You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
  • The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.
  • You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
  • One of your kids was born on a pool table.
  • You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
  • You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.
  • You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
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