How to keep an idiot busy

How to keep an idiot busy (at least for a couple of minutes)
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Ten Excuses for Missing Work

We’ve all been there. It’s a beautiful day, and you can’t bear the thought of going into work. So you call in with some excuse about feeling ill, but you know in your bones that your boss doesn’t buy it.
The feeling ill excuse is a short-term solution that won’t win you any fans at [...]

Cop Reprimanded for Self-Tasering

(by Steven Elbow )
11/12/2007
 
You’d think the offense would be punishment enough.
A Madison police officer was issued a letter of reprimand this month for zapping the officer’s own hand with a Taser, inadvertently sending a massive jolt of electricity through the officer’s body, police disclosed today.
The incident happened on July 31 when the officer, [...]

Bizarre bank break-in ends in a real mess

Suspect was bored, on drugs, he says
November 13, 2007
(Free Press staff writer: Jack Kresnak)
A 16-year-old Wyandotte boy said he wasn’t trying to steal any money when he broke into a bank early Sunday morning, smashed an ATM and wreaked several thousand dollars worth of damage.
But he did make a deposit.
The boy was arrested around [...]

Dumb Bumper Stickers

They didn’t let me out, they just gave me a day pass!
Front Bumper) If you can read this, I didn’t hit you hard enough.
..and i should care, why?
-60 in 15 minutes!
100% Irony- Free.
100,000 [...]

Dumb, Stupid Signs

A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O’Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands.
At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet? Miss [...]

Dumb Quotes

“Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound.”
- Ad in the “Missoulian” by Orange Street Food Farm
“I invented the internet”.
- Al [...]